Concerned Parent of Gay Man Speaks Out

This letter came to our church some time back. I have reprinted it here by permission exactly as written. The author of the letter requested I withhold all identifying personal information.

Dear Minister,

I am writing this letter in hopes that it will get to your desk and you will read it and research its content.

In 2009 our son came out to us and said he was gay. To us, it was a shock and surprise, to say the least. My wife and I love our son. We had to do much Biblical research, as well as studying the physical and mental studies on this subject. Our conclusion is that God created our son and that he has a different sexual orientation given to him at birth. It wasn’t just a choice.

My name is [Name Withheld] and my wife’s name is [Name Withheld]. We reside in California. We have been married for 35 years this May 20th, 2013. We have one child that God has given us. It seemed we could not conceive, so we prayed and kept trying and after seven years [our son] was born. Our son is now 27 years old. He’s been raised in the Christian faith. He is still following Christ, as we are.

After much Biblical study and the readings of psychologist and doctors in the medical profession, and prayer we have become knowledgeable in all three areas: Biblical, mental and Physical. We accept our son and many GLBT sons and daughters of parents who disown them. We even attend and inclusive Christ-centered church that has at least 95% gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender lovely Christian young people as well as older men and women in this church of over 122 attendees. I state all the above to bring the following insight to you and others who would listen and have an open mind and would make it a matter of earnest prayer and Bible research.

When the Surgeon General of the United States did a research on smoking and its effects on the human body, congress listened and the results brought forth laws that would stop smoking in many areas. The results pleased the majority of people and many denominations, and we are so glad to accept this smoking limitation so we can live in a healthy environment.

Now we have the American Psychiatric Association who did a comprehensive research on the human condition of gay people for a number of years. The results are similar to the findings of the smoking issue: concrete evidence of accepting the findings of professional men and women. And yet congress, ministers, and other people in high standing, ignore the findings of the APA and Medical field and allow discrimination and division in the United States of America and churches.

The APA took a stand after much lengthy study whether the gay orientation is a human choice or it’s a human natural trait of man and womankind. The consensus of the APA is to the place of maintaining that homosexuality is natural and most especially, that it can’t be changed. The APA also advises to its members to no longer present homosexuality as an illness or a problem of personal development.

With the advisement of the APA as similar to the Surgeon General, why can’t congress and the church intervene in this area to help save lives from suicide and mental anguish to those who are affected by this orientation to which so many people are haunted with and even can’t understand themselves?

Dear Minister of the Gospel, please help the parents of gay children and the Church of Jesus Christ to reconcile themselves to understand the way of life for their gay children and the gay orientation. I believe this will help save lives and curtail discrimination in the church among believers in time. Similarly, many parents didn’t want a Down syndrome child, but when it happened they accepted the child and took the challenge to love their child. I believe the parent to a gay child can learn to love and accept their child as they are after seeing the research studies by professionals who have studied this orientation and the ministers exhorting love and acceptance.

My wife and I would like to plead to you to “Set our children free”. As you know, a great man names Moses went before the Pharaoh and proclaimed a similar statement from God, “Set my people free”. These are the words that need to be proclaimed for the sake of a people confused, condemned, misunderstood and in bondage. But they are still citizens of the United States and children of God.

Thank you for your consideration. I do this for my child and the many children who are so misunderstood in this society. I would also like to recommend a book that has helped us, “God’s Gay Agenda”, author by Sandra Turnbull. God bless you for your consideration and prayer and study time on this subject.

Sincerely, In Jesus Name

[Name withheld by request]

11 thoughts on “Concerned Parent of Gay Man Speaks Out

    1. cscottfowler Post author

      Thanks for your input. So, I assume then that you are in support of gay Christianity, etc. are you willing to tell us a little more about your own situation and where you are coming from?

      1. Kendall F. Person, thepublicblogger

        I just discovered that replies to my comments made on other’s blog post are viewed via notifications, so I am going through a vast number of comments I have left within the past 5 months. I saw the questions you posed, went back and read the article, and I still do not know exactly what you mean by gay Christianity so, please clarify and I will respond. Regarding my own situation and where I am coming from, at 46 years old, I am sound in who I am. If you are requesting an in-depth interview to serve a specific purpose, one which I am firmly behind, I will consider that request. But what do you know of me, for my opinion to matter to the readers that you serve? I do not entertain shockism or ‘because i want to knows’. In every thing I write, there is a piece of me to be found. I am an open book, and after 12 years of not liking the man that I am, I am unbreakable, made that way through my strong family bonds, everlasting friendships and a Facebook community of early support and now a WordPress community of readers and bloggers that care more about my message and with true sincerity, they are happy, proud that I have recognized and am putting to use my gift of writing., Because of all that, I cannot get off track. That being said, please provide answers to my query if you still wish to get inside my head.

      2. cscottfowler Post author

        Well, sir, it was a simple question. You heartily approved a letter written by a man asking all pastors and churches to support gay Christianity, which I think is pretty sel-explanatory, but in case it is not: gay Christianity is simply that Christianity practiced by homosexuals which not everyone supports, I being one of those people. As to interviewing you or getting into your head or whatever, you have placed way too much emphasis on my very simple reply back to yours. You should probably be prepared in the future to give answer for your comments when you endorse controversial letters and articles. While I am not interested in interviewing you, my blog sites are also not zones where people can comment without qualification or at least without the expectation that someone will challenge you or at least try and get you to clarify your comments, etc. Thanks for responding.

      3. Kendall F. Person, thepublicblogger

        I would like to say I overacted, but I think it is more of a miscommunication. I do not recognize ‘Like’ as an endorsement, but simply, I liked the post, photo, video, podcast or song. Generally, one is asked to give their endorsement, rather than it be the implied.>> Yes, the letter is very clear, but your wording ‘gay Christianity’ is not. was not sure if you meant what you just defined or if it was a new type of religion. And even then, I could not easily answer either of those questions because they contradict my own beliefs. I believe that being gay is not a choice, And that in the eyes of God, none of his children are inherently doomed because of the way he made us. But while I follow the King James Version, I also believe that all of humankind prays to the same Higher Power, we just are followers of different paths, or books or ways to practice our faith. While there certainly exists practices I do not believe in, I begrudge no one, throw no stones, or put one faith higher than the other. The pastor at the non-denomination church I belong to, tends to be more of a teacher than a preacher. And while he may have his own devout inner beliefs, I have never known him to turn anyone away. So asking if I believe in gay Christianity, is not a question I can answer, and since my ‘Like’ of the letter is considered, by this site, an endorsement, I will retract it. Because there was confusion or miscomunicatin from the start, then your asking if I would like to tell your readers my situation, it seemed a question out of the blue for a reader who just casually passed through, like-ing what he read,and moving on. I did not anticipate that, but I do appreciate your candidness and willingness to take me to task, which I would readily accept, if I thought the confusion lied with me.

      4. cscottfowler Post author

        Very interesting indeed! You are very intentional, even protective of your words, and yet as one who had just “casually passed through” and yet able to endorse a letter to the point of hoping it “serves the purpose of its intent.” That, my friend, equals endorsement of the highest kind, or irresponsibility with words, which you seem to be too intentional for that. No harm is done, except that I would generally have tremendous concerns with the religious position you took in your most recent comment. But you have not asked for discussion on those things and they are nothing I have not heard of before. I would that your lack of awareness of the growing conflict and discussion concerning gay Christianity is something you might look into. At any rate, I always appreciate a candid conversation not designed to hurt but to have an even exchange of ideas. Thanks for that.

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